so life. Ha. I don't even know why i started this whole entry with something like that...as if I understand what I'm talking about.
But life. I don't understand anything about it right now. I don't understand anything for that matter, much less life. I think I could answer questions all day about why I think the world is the way it is or why people do the things they do. And I'd probably give you an answer that you would find some pretty good reason in. Maybe not. But I could at least fool for a little while. However, back to what I said...I don't know anything.
Nothing.

I have a list of really special and encouraging things about my life here at Shorter college in my notebook...It's lame I know. But everyday the list grows. And everyday I look at that list and try to put away the other crap that I easily get so focused on. I try to add something to the list daily but, today, is not such an easy day to write about. I don't have much "happy" things to say and therefor, by the worlds standards, I am "sad". I'd say, "weary". It does not matter.
I have had a piece of crap sort of week. And a much bigger piece of crap sort of twenty-four hours. I'm so tired I want to curl into a ball and give up on trying to be...anything.

But. I WILL find something to put on the list today.

We do all we can do and that's all there is to it. Each day is something new and it's no different for me or for you. "What you focus on expands".

(contradiction #1)

Much Love.

p.s. Red. YOU were right.

I'm officially retarded by my own standards.
How much more retarded does that make me by the rest of the worlds?
I have a blog. A poorly named, destined to get me into more trouble than I need, COMPLETELY narcissistic, blog. Woof.

So why did I begin one? Well. However I may feel about this blogging thing (and I really DON'T know how I feel about it) I have come to respect, very much, a dear friend of mine who keeps up a blog of his own. I won't say that said friends blog is anything entirely inspirational and has, since reading it, given me the desire to follow in his footsteps. But, to say that I wasn't inspired at all would be a lie. He wrote, (sorry friend) "In everyday occurences, there is truth to be found. And in every moment we say nothing, a part of the world we could have made a better place dies."

I think my reasons for beginning my own blog should be easily understood.
But beware. Reading anything I write could and probably will at sometime make you crazy. I promise to stand by my beliefs with all of my heart, soul and strength. And in doing so, I promise to contradict myself daily.

BUT! Without any further unnecessary exposition. Here you have it. My blod er blod, damn it, blog.